Not to be blunt, but when I went under the knife and became a man when the elders told me \u201cInyio amu itaa Olee\u201d<\/em> and those sacred droplets of blood hit the ground I was convinced I could do anything. Skin a Maasai lion for leisure. Drink beer ovyo ovyo<\/em>. Hang out with girls who were probably the reason our elders warned us that metum orip tuli kiteng\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was no secret formula for masculinity just blurry YouTube videos with clickbait titles like \u201c5 Steps to Grow Your Beard in Three Days [Step 4 Will Change Your Life]<\/em>.\u201d And, na\u00efve as I was, I believed it. I genuinely thought being a man meant having a beard something that screams authority something that girls could stroke while I sat in a bar lying about that one time I wrestled a lion and won.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Simba is back!” I’d say, as they giggled and bought the fantasy. But what they don\u2019t tell you what no elder warns you about is that life is the real lion. And one day, it will sink its teeth into you so hard that no beard, no deep voice, no well-timed sip of beer can save you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that, my friends, is how I ended up staring at my phone, watching a Maasai man on TikTok Live narrate how he fumbled his father\u2019s ex-wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI thought I was a man. I had the beard, the swagger, the knack for talking my way into situations, but, somewhere along the line, I got it twisted. I mistook a feeling of manhood for actual manhood\u201d. And what better way to discover this than from the great life lessons delivered by of all things a man caught in a Maasai love triangle involving his father\u2019s ex-wife,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His name? LB Maasai. His crime? Falling in love with his father\u2019s ex-wife. His punishment? Everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It all started the way most modern relationships do: with a Facebook DM. The woman in question was his father\u2019s ex. A lady from Norwich, a place that sounds respectable until you realize it is the Dubai of heartbreak. Years ago, she had been brought to Kenya by LB Maasai\u2019s father, a Maasai singer who had traveled abroad with a dance troupe. But things didn\u2019t work out. The father had another wife, as Maasai men tend to do, and was committed to alcoholism in a way he was never committed to the marriage. The lady went back to the UK, and at some point, the woman perhaps out of nostalgia, perhaps out of sheer boredom decided to look up for her alleged step son on Facebook.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few DMs later, she was sponsoring him. Paying his rent in Ngong. Funding his life. If this were a movie, the soundtrack playing in the background would be “Mubaba”<\/em> by Diana Bahati. “Nimekam na mubaba, mfadhili\u2026 juu nakuwanga na allergy ya umasikini.”<\/em> A tragic foreshadowing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The problem? According to the Maasai constitution, this woman was supposed to be his mother. But Facebook DMs do not respect culture. Slowly, she transitioned from a sponsor to something else. LB Maasai claims that it was her dressing that got him. She started wearing “seductive clothes,” and that was it. The Mumama economy reversed. He became her ben 10. She got pregnant. Left for the UK. Came back. Got pregnant again this time with twins. If this story were an episode of a soap opera, we\u2019d be at the part where you check the title again to make sure it\u2019s not fiction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the world was not done with him yet. Just when he thought he had survived the worst, life had one final humiliationin store. One day, she disappeared. Gone, just like that. Only for him to later find out that she had returned to Kenya\u2026 but not to him. No. She had gone to Narok and, in a move that would send even the strongest of men into a depressive episode, fallen in love with another Maasai artist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, listen. There are betrayals, and then there is your father\u2019s ex-wife, your baby mama, your sponsor, leaving you for a fellow artist. The artist code should have prevented this. But as we\u2019ve learned, Nairobi is a lawless place. Worse? The new couple had managed to achieve what he could not they had traveled abroad together. To Norwich. The same Norwich where LB Maasai\u2019s Visa application had been declined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If pain had a sound, it would be LB Maasai logging into TikTok Live and seeing his ex, baby mama, former sponsor, and once-mother figure\u2026 kissing another man abroad. At this point, what do you even do? He tried to fight for her, confronted the man, but it was too late. The Maasai elders had already started whispering. His father, who had already suffered the humiliation of losing his woman to his son, did the only thing left to do cursed him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so, LB Maasai did what any man in the middle of a full-life crisis does. He went to church. Confessed. Begged his father for forgiveness. And now, he wants to remarry. But can a man ever truly recover from this? Is there a cleansing ritual strong enough to wipe away a mistake of this magnitude? Will the ancestors allow it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

See, growing up, I thought being a man meant having a beard. Something that screams “I am him.” I thought masculinity was sitting in a bar, sipping beer like a rugged warrior, and telling exaggerated stories about skinning a lion for leisure. But no. Masculinity, it turns out, is a scam. It is opening your Facebook inbox and realizing that one wrong reply can destroy your entire lineage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The streets are cold. The Mumama\u2019s are winning. The TikTok Lives are devastating. And now, we must all be careful.Before falling in love, always ask: “Have you ever dated my father?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It could save you from trending for all the wrong reasons.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What you need to know: <\/p>\n

Kenya’s social landscape is full of twists and turns, but don\u2019t be fooled\u2014what happens behind closed doors is often more chaotic than what we see on the streets. If you know anyone who’s navigated these murky waters, you might want to grab a seat and listen up. There’s a whole world of relationships where loyalty is optional, love comes with a price tag, and family ties are a bit more… elastic.<\/p>\n

And as for LB Maasai\u2019s saga? It’s just a glimpse of a larger, unspoken reality. It’s not just about broken hearts and betrayal\u2014it\u2019s about navigating the blurred lines of culture, modernity, and personal choices in a world where the rules keep changing. This might be the year we all get to see the messy truth about how we\u2019ve been doing relationships. So, don\u2019t be shocked when the next headline hits close to home\u2014because it’s probably a story you\u2019ve heard before.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1253,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,60,20,40,35,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture","category-editors-pick","category-entertainment","category-gossips","category-kajiado","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\n